to be blue or not

one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. seven months before june 2006. seven months before law school and i still am short of the required amount for my tuition. well i am just gunning for a down payment and hope that my mom's heart would be softened and help me.. errr, how could she if im not even asking?

taning, an alumni of The Bedan and a graduate of ateneo law and ateneo's bar bet, visited the office after his bar and told me that ateneo law is already giving out application forms for the school year 2006-2007 law freshies. dumbfounded of course, but i cant blame him.he does not know that i have problems in raising money for san beda law.

biases aside , i think ateneo is just second to san beda in law, but i cant deny that it is a good law school and that i have to admit that i have ateneo as my option, next to san beda. modesty aside, i think i can pass the darn qualifying exams of ateneo. there's a teeny wenie problem though. ateneo law costs 41 thousand! 14 thousand costlier than san beda! i cant even reach 12 thousand and i will aspire for a 40 thousand-law school.

well such is not impossible according to taning. ateneo has sholarship grants to deserving students. the problem is, i dont think im deserving enough. dont you all react and say that i am. i know what i am made of and i know that i am not. but he said that if i will never make it as an academic scholar, i could make it a financial scholar.

what's the difference? academic scholarship is given to super-human-space-cadets, while financial scholarship is given to those who can pass the minimum requirement and wears a fake chaps pants and shirt with an aligator instead of a crocodile.

ok ok ok, so he did ring my bell. but not that i cannot keep up with ateneo's requirements, the problem is i think i dont want to be an atenean still. i have despised ateneans in the past and i dont know if i still have to despise them. and yeah, i love being a bedan! it does not have the accolades and prestige as ateneans get, but i dont give a rats ass about it.

here i am, sinking myself in introspection as to whether i should gear up tomorrow and head to rockwell to get myself an aplication form for ateneo law school. what am gonna do about it? i honestly dont know.