There are moments that you wish you’d get whoever's abs, whoever's eyes, whoever's nose or your neighbor's ass, to be wanted. There are moments that somehow you wish you have the spirituality of whoever "self righteous" mortal or the intellect of whoever anti-social philosopher, to be wanted. There are moments that you wish you were somebody else. Someone better. But no matter how much you keep yourself in your own deluded world, reality will be waiting till you return.

Daisy was here in manila last week with her friends who were then hunting for job at a job fair at ortigas. That was the first time that she went to manila plainly just to see me, and the day could have been great. But I felt that her best friend did not like the idea that she was out with me that day. Maybe she wanted to be with daisy? Maybe she never wanted me around? Or maybe I just sucked in front of her that I annoy her with every lil thing that I do.

Her best friend does not want me. Though daisy has never brought this up to me, I do not need a nerdotic education to feel that. She never wanted me for daisy from the start. Maybe because I am from manila and that manila guys have a reputation of being players; maybe because I had too many failed relationships in the past; maybe because she thinks that I am not good enough for daisy; maybe I look the way I do. I don’t know. Too many possibilities, all lead to one conclusion.

I don’t know why am I writing this. I mean, yeah this is my way of letting the shit out of me. But this aint gonna make the site anyway. I know after writing this I will just save it as a draft and never publish it at all. Sounds like a loser? Nah. I think I have to ask daisy first if I should publish this or not. Not that she gives a fart on what a write on site. I just don’t want her best friend to be mad at her and leave her clueless why. Considering that her best friend might waste a considerable amount of time reading this.

There is no denying, she does not want me. Her coldness speaks for my case. I don’t know if I have been too shy to reach out, or my efforts to reach her were not good enough. nah! I don’t want to speculate. I don’t want to even give a damn anymore. what’s important is that daisy and I are ok and some members of her family likes me. I hope so....

but I am only human. and it is human nature to hope. to hope that somehow we can talk like good buds, that somehow she'll like me for daisy, that somehow she never thinks that I was born out of Zeus' toenails to grab daisy from her and be her new best friend.

I think I sound so bitter already. ill stop here. it aint gonna of use anyway...