fx ride out of sucat

Not everything in life conforms to what we have thought it would.

I have never loved going to parañaque because it is way too out of my way having been living in the northern part of the metro. Of course, out of necessity and wanting to make someone happy, I sometimes had to oblige myself to rather go.

I have gone there I think for a couple of times only and I have hated going back to Makati on a bus and sometimes narrowly making it for the last trip of the MRT.

And now that it has come to this, the end of our four year friendship, I know that, that was the last of it.

When you bid someone farewell you never expect that that person will be back. You may hope that it would but that hope may sometimes be proven to be futile.

The moment I rode an FX out of parañaque, I knew that that was the last time I have to ride a shuttle from park square and alight at Greenheights, the last time I have to ride my way back to Makati as far as we are concerned.

And so the memories came rushing back; the way we first met, the first things we have talked about, the first idiocy that we have laughed at, etcetera etcetera. I was reminded of all the things that we have done for each other, though it was not that much and great, the things we have cried at and the times we have become each others’ comfort.

I will be a hypocrite to say that it does not hurt. It does. And that ride out of parañaque made me realize that somehow, things have been beautiful in my life.

The past has to be over us. And I know that this has to happen. I have never wanted to end a friendship but am aware that somehow I have to give each other the space to grow, the space to finally heal whatever pain I have caused.

To ka: no more apologies for apologies have become a cliché. Thank you for the friendship that you have shared. Thank you for the memories. No regrets because I know somehow, I became happy. Though I may have my own life now and may have moved on from where we took off I will always see you when I look back from where I will be.

I guess this is the part of the song where I have to sing the last lines. I may have failed to save the friendship but I remain hopeful that someday this friendship will again sing its song