lost enthusiasm

have you ever tried eating pressure for breakfast? i do, i breathe it in and out for six months now and i am on the verge of breaking down now that the board exams is just a week away. true enough dean principe aptly said "wag ninyong hintayin yan, dadatin at dadating din yan".

to some of us in the accountancy field, the board exams is the culmination of the years of hard work to meet the tough demands of the course. it seemed as if burning eyebrows were never enought to tide us over another day in the course. to some it marks the ultimate destination of accountancy majors. it marks the beginning of their endless journey in search for better fortunes using their knowledge in accounting.

to me it is nothing but a mere examination i have to get over with.

six years in college, only now that i realize that i was enrolled in the wrong course. i pity myself to have failed the capacity to think about that early on, while there was still time to save my years in the tertiary academe. now i am lost of words in describing how i wonder how to bring back the lost years that i delved myself in the study of accounting. it is not for me and certainly i can no longer see myself in an office with a calculator on one hand and a spreadsheet on the other hand.

i respect the people who have grown to love the profession. i respect the people who are earning their livelihood from the profession. a part of me will continue to give respect to it and to the people who form part of what they claim as the syndicate of all professions. but i simply cannot see myself mixing with their kind anymore. accounting is so boxed in its Generally Accepted Accounting Principles (GAAP) and Generally Accepted Auditing Standards (GAAS). there is no room for self imporvement in that profession. i should know, been there done that.

somehow it pains me just to even think that i have wasted everything up, but i have to take a stand today so as not to commit another mistake and waste some more in the future.