sleepless in mjc

There are moments in my life I consider myself so fragile. These are the moments where I feel so vulnerable to whatever in this world that can hurt me. These are the moments that I open myself up to the feeling loneliness and guilt, hoping that I have not taken a certain turn that I am currently regretting. There are certain moments in my life that I feel so uberly insignificant and a big time loser.

I can remember every minute of it and how it ended, right there; inside the same room I was last night. The moment of fragility ended in the same moment that I got my mind entangled between finishing another editorial of the school paper and the eulogy of Sen. Raul Roco, who is by the way a bedan and a former Editor in Chief of the publication as well. It ended there in the same room, in the same corner where I sat at last night, collecting my thoughts, gathering them and arranging them to put up with a column article.

That is the room where she also used to work at, the same moment she used to catch sanity out of a cup of coffee or a bottle of soda, trying to clean herself up with a bottle of alcohol and an already unkempt hanky, the same corner where I saw her.

Ah the joys of being alive. It feels so damn good. Indeed, a friend, or should I say, a former friend, used to say that the world is a big world... indeed, it is big. It is big for two people searching for someone to fill the void in them. The world is big and I am so damn thankful that her world in nueva ecija and mine Quezon City met there, in the same corner where I sat at last night. where she sat at...

no, I am not letting go of her... sounds so cliché? maybe, but this time, I mean it more than ever..