adieu

6:00 AM: fresh from the bathroom i prepared for a day of hu-hummm

6:45 AM: i am off to the holy cross, at the back of my mind i was apprehensive and was having second thoughts on pushing thru. but i am as determined to go and see her... i guess

7:30 AM: i alighted the fx i was riding and took a tricycle ride to their place

several minutes later: i alighted the trike and saw that the gate was open and that her uncle's car is being parked. there were people in their terrace who recognize me the moment i tok off the tike.

several more minutes later: i was talking to her mother anwering her question of how we were doing thus far?

several more minutes later: i was already talking to her. she was fresh from the bathroom and was ready to put on her dress when i arrived. her flight was several hours before dinner so she had the luxury of talking to me for a while.

i gave her the winnie the pooh stuff toy that i brought years ago the other night. that was supposed to be a birthday gift for untill i ran out of opportunity to give her the stuff. i kept it in a box for years and swore to give it to her the moment she comes back. it was a bit old but i was determined to hand it to her. i found toy in his half filled travelling bag.

i gave her a very long letter, telling her how i have been in the past years that we have not seen each other. who i have met, who i dated, how i almost got a libel case, howi met my girlfriend, how we met, how much i love her and how i fulfilled her wish that i shuld make myself genuinely happy.

several hours later: they had really prepare for their flight so i decided to finally head home. that was the last of it. we have decided to finally end it there and remember that the friendship that we had was so precious and keep it right there.

she ended it, i did not want to, but somehow i should respect what she wants. when i asked her why? she said too many reasons and i understand her. i cannot have the best of both worlds.

i do not believe in fate but she does. i hope somehow she was correct that our friendship will recover someday if it is meant to. but for now we haev to wait. and i have to wait for her to want it as well because, for me, there is no such thing as fate.
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as of this moment she is now back at california. i am genuinely moving on. i am hurt that i officialy have lost my bestfriend. but i keep it at a place where no amount of bitterness could destroy everthing that we have shared... where could that be? i dont know.. ours was so beautiful and id rather keep it that way... adieu