a man

moving up
marriage is solemn in the eyes of the priest who locked me in this unbearable chain. love is supposed to be a two-way thing but i dont mind if in my case it is not. i love my wife and i will do just anything for her. she is the Shakespeare in my sonnet, the Norah on my piano, but she doesnt love me. for once i thought that marrying her out of the child i have inside her was a mistake. but it was not. i believed that somehow, she would love me back. i have contented myself with her shy smile. i am contented seeing her on our bed each night. i receive no love but i dont care because i love her. and i love the view from up here, the tranquility it brings, and the breeze that sings. this is life on this ledge. a euphoric serenity from the sight that beholds me. i love my wife on our bed with our neighbor's husband.
hello earth

on a flickering night
three years and four months, i should be happy that i am finally off her. i should be happy that i can now go out without thinking that she's at their home waiting for me to arrive. i wanted to marry her before, but the way she choked me, i now find myself not wanting to go back in the relationship. and i should be happy because this is the day i can smell my freedom very well.
i am happy and i am nauseated. i am happy and i am hyperventilating. i am hap......

on a wooden chair
how could this have happened? i have loved her so much, i have given everything that i could to win her. but i failed. i dont want to stalk her but the scent of her, the sight of her are very addicting. why she keeps on running away? how about the flowers i gave her? the spitz pups i gave her. how about the seemingly endless letters? the messages of hi's and goodnights? where have all those gone?
im not good enough... im not good enough... im not good enough...
i am not good enough, but all i see is she...
i am not good enough and all i see is this red gushing out of my wrist...
i love her....till all i see is black