bored

i am so bored with my life. if only not for daisy, who keeps me company in moments i do not know what i turned myself into and in times all i want to do is o kid around, i am going to get a slug in my head out of boredom.

i used to chill out every Saturday night and get the hang of the weekend bumming period. but not anymore. i used to trek low lying hills and cliffs to get something new aside from gray filth and horrendous traffic jams. but not anymore. i used to backpack at a random place i have never gone to and see if i can still get my sorry ass back to civilization. but not anymore. i used to swim for the hype of competitions. but not anymore. i used to have my ass kicked in mush pits and UP fairs, but not anymore.

there are so many things i am missing now a day. what sucks is that i know what is wrong with me, but i cannot do something about it. i am a prisoner of my own dreams. people tell me not to stop dreaming for it is in it that i can get satisfaction in what i am doing. but such is the contrary at this exact moment.

the dreams i have are the exact reasons why i am killing the self that i was.